


#HydraCapIsOverParty

by CaptainSteeb



Series: Steve and Bucky Try To Function [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Catholic Steve Rogers, Coming Out, Face Masks, Gen, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Humor, Jewish Bucky Barnes, M/M, Mentions of anti-Semitism, Misunderstandings, News Media, Quarantine, Social Media, Steve Rogers is Not a Nazi, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:55:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24430936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainSteeb/pseuds/CaptainSteeb
Summary: “Nuts to this goddamned century! Everyone thinks I’m a Nazi!”Steve is caught on video making a joke. The media takes it way out of context, and the next thing he knows, #HydraCap is trending and he is on the front page of every news site.He comes up with a very Steve Rogers way to clear his name.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Series: Steve and Bucky Try To Function [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1765621
Comments: 23
Kudos: 640





	#HydraCapIsOverParty

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [#ГидраКэпПрощай](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072139) by [WTF Infinity Starbucks 2021 (InfinityStucky)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityStucky/pseuds/WTF%20Infinity%20Starbucks%202021)



> This fic includes the media taking something out of context and calling Steve a Nazi. It also mentions anti-semitism. If you're easily offended, maybe give this one a pass. Rated for language.

There was an art to staying home that people didn’t understand, Steve contemplated as he scrolled through a dog Subreddit. He remembered having to spend entire winters locked up because of his many illnesses, months of reading and drawing and sleeping. Shuddering, he remembered sneaking down the fire escape to go play stickball with Bucky despite his mother’s warnings and coming down with the worst case of pneumonia he’d ever had. After that, he realized that being stuck at home healthy was better than being stuck at home coughing up a lung, and he’d taken to inviting Bucky over to play cards or read comics together.

Bucky himself was slouched next to Steve on the sofa, one leg hooked over Steve’s knee, jabbing viciously at their PlayStark controller. The controller was bright red and gold, made out of some kind of metal that Tony had assured Bucky’s metal arm wouldn’t be able to crush. Little Iron Man heads adorned both of the joysticks. Bucky had threatened to shove the thing up Tony’s ass when he’d given it to them.

“You’re gonna break the controller, and I ain’t asking Tony for a new one this time,” Steve warned. Bucky pointedly jammed his metal thumb into a button to make his character—a little stylized Captain America wearing that terrible suit from 2012—jump onto a giant spider and begin bashing it with his shield.

“Ain’t gonna break it,” Bucky grunted, then proceeded to put his thumb through the controller. He blinked down at it, slowly extracted his thumb from the device, then closed his eyes and let out a very long sigh. “Goddamned Stark.”

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, Bucky.”

Bucky sighed again and tossed the controller onto the floor. “Calm down, Saint Rogers, I’ll figure out how to ask Stark for a new one.”

“Don’t offer to send him pictures of my ass this time. I’m tired of him making cracks about my ass,” Steve grumped, going back to his phone. They sat in silence for a while longer before Bucky’s phone alerted him to a new text message.

Steve cocked his head to the side. “Did Tony change your text alert to the Terminator music or did you do that?”

Bucky shot him a flat look and went back to his phone. A minute later he’d straightened up, sliding his leg off of Steve’s lap and scrolling through something with increasing urgency.

“Tell me it’s not an Assemble.” The team had assembled a few days ago and had been required to wear protective masks before they went out to subdue the Statue of Liberty that Loki had enchanted to come to life. Steve’s mask, courtesy of Coulson, had had an American flag printed on it.

“Didn’t know you were off to a gun rally after this, Cap,” Tony had quipped from inside his tin can. Steve hadn’t been able to flip him off because there had already been media vultures filming their every breath.

Steve had just rolled his eyes and snarked back, “Yeah, have to stop at home for my modified AK first, so I might be a little late.”

Bucky, who _did_ in fact possess a modified AK, had put on a whole show of being offended behind his hot pink Star of David mask. (The mask, which had been made for Bucky by an old woman who ran an Etsy shop, was currently backordered until 2023.)

“Not an Assemble,” Bucky replied. “I guess the Internet is having a bit of a witch hunt for you right now, though.”

“What?” Steve leaned over and watched as Bucky scrolled through an article, then navigated over to Twitter to see that #HydraCap was currently at number one trending.

“What the fuck?!” Steve exclaimed, snatching up his own phone to investigate what was going on.

_Captain America threatens Jewish Winter Soldier with illegal modified assault weapon: Twitter suspects that he has been working for Hydra all along._

“Jewish Winter Soldier. Is that my new codename? And when the hell did you threaten me with an illegal modified assault weapon?” Bucky asked.

“The other day when Tony made that stupid crack about my mask!” Steve shot to his feet and began to pace, eyes locked on his phone. “ _Nuts_ to this goddamned century!”

“You didn’t threaten me with nothin’,” Bucky said, his expression confused. “You,” he cut himself off, eyes widening, “oh shit, Stevie!”

“Yeah, no shit ‘oh shit!’ Everyone thinks I’m a fucking Nazi!”

“Shit!” Bucky repeated. Hastily, he turned the television over to CNN and, sure enough, there was a reporter reading the headline: _Captain America— White Supremacist?_ The news cut over to shaky camera footage of the conversation between Steve and Tony that had started all this, then to Bucky’s overdramatic reaction.

The Bucky on screen clutched a hand to his chest and stepped back from Steve. “I don’t know if I feel safe around you anymore,” he said, eyes wide. To anyone who knew Bucky, his dry tone belied his sarcasm, but to those watching…

“Steve Rogers is under question today due to his threatening and, some say, white nationalist comments toward his friend and coworker James Barnes. Barnes, who has been an outspoken advocate in the Jewish community since he returned in 2014, expressed his fear that Rogers might harm him.”

Bucky jumped to his feet, threw his fists up in the air, and let out a string of curses that had Winnifred Barnes spinning in her grave.

“What do we do?” Steve asked. His eyes drifted back down to his phone, where he kept seeing article after article calling him a Nazi. “Don’t these twits have any critical thinking skills? I volunteered to be a science experiment for a Jewish doctor and spent years pummeling Nazis to death with a _shield_!”

“And you’re married to a Jew.”

“ _And_ I’m married to a Jew, but they don’t know that part yet.” Steve started pacing again, kicking the Stark controller across the room and sending it clean through the wall and into their bedroom. Bucky went over to peek through the hole.

“I think you just obliterated that stuffed sloth I won you at Coney Island,” Bucky said, and that set Steve off on his own rant, mixing together English and Irish curses in a truly impressive display of rage. He finally wound down a few moments later, face red, and crossed himself.

“God ain’t gonna forgive you so easy for that last one, sugar, talking about his Son like that.”

“Shut up, Bucky! What do we do?”

Bucky ran his metal hand through his hair, cursing when a few strands got caught between the plates. He paced over to the window and back a few times, then perked up with an idea: “Stark.”

“What about him?”

“He’s a fucking idiot,” Bucky said. Steve agreed, but wasn’t in the mood to listen to one of Bucky’s bitch sessions right now. He sighed.

“Yeah, so what?”

“He gets into messes like this all the time. He’ll know what to do.”

###

“I don’t know what to do,” said Tony’s hologram. The genius was apparently too busy to come down a few floors to visit them, so he’d just sent a blue-tinted hologram of himself into their living room. He was bent over what appeared to be a skateboard, but with no wheels andsome sort of thruster on the back.

“Tony, you can’t sell kids rocket powered hoverboards,” Steve scolded.

“I’m testing this one out on the spider kid. He won’t get hurt.”

“Can we talk about our crisis?” Bucky cut in. “They think Steve’s a Nazi.”

“Look,” Tony sighed, glancing up for the first time, “stuff like this, you either don’t say anything or you apologize. Either try to let it blow over, or issue a statement apologizing for your joke.”

“It wasn’t even my joke! It was yours!” Steve exclaimed, pointing at Tony.

“Yeah, but you’re the one they’re crucifying, blondie. You’re the one who needs…” Tony trailed off, squinting at the wall. “Did you fire a cannon through your wall?”

“No,” Bucky cut in before Steve could divert the question, “I broke your controller and Stevie here kicked it through the wall and exploded his sloth.”

Tony raised his eyebrows at Steve flirtatiously. “Is that a euphemism?”

“No,” Steve snapped. “So your answer is I either apologize for something I didn’t do, or I shut up and don’t say anything at all?”

“Yup,” Tony answered, popping the _P_ with his lips. “And after you apologize, the Terminator can come out and do some charity or something in a couple weeks. 

Case closed, there’s your answer, see you on movie night. Wilson picked Shaft.”

“It’s my turn to pick!” Bucky cried, but Tony had already disconnected.

Steve plopped down on the couch and buried his head in his hands. What a disaster. He didn’t want to apologize for a stupid joke, but he also didn’t want to stay silent and let the rumors circulate. Real harm could come from this, especially if the wrong people started using his image for their cause. He looked over at Bucky, who was standing in front of the television with one hand on his hip, glaring at the CNN reporter with the force of a thousand suns.

Steve took a deep breath, slapped his thighs, and rose to his feet, snatching his phone up and walking over to Bucky with purpose. 

He knew what to do.

###

@capsgrrrl7: Hey #HydraCap conspirators how do you explain the pic Cap just posted where he’s kissing his JEWISH HUSBAND lmao

@toxiccapfanboy: #HydraCap destroyed by a tactical nuke from Rogers. Don’t even care about the gay thing just glad my boy shut this garbage down. @CNN retraction when?

@bonkybonkybonky: The mental gymnastics to think Sargent James Buchanan Barnes, founder of the Brooklyn Jewish Science Scholarship, would tolerate being around a Hydra soldier for even a SECOND lmao can’t relate #HydraCapIsOverParty #stuckyisreal  


@ubermennnnsch: @realSteveRogers Disgusting. Thought you finally saw the light. Someone should come teach you a lesson.

@realBuckyBarnes: @ubermennnsch You’re going to see the light tonight if you threaten my husband again.

@realTonyStark: @ubermennnsch I’d be shitting myself if I were you. @realSteveRogers come upstairs cutie pie I made a new mask for you ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos make me smile!
> 
> Bucky's text tone is the first few seconds of this song:  
> https://youtu.be/pVZ2NShfCE8


End file.
